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I would do anything for chocolate

September 25, 2014 By Emily 18 Comments

I’ve gone a bit cuh-razy with chocolate lately.

Those of you who know me (or who follow me on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram) will already be rolling your eyes. Yeah, okay, so what else is new? The sky is blue? Greeeaaat.

But I’m even worse than usual. My daily family-sized-block-of-Cadbury-deliciousness habit isn’t cutting it. I WANT MORE.

I feel like I’ve never wanted chocolate this much before. But then… a memory flickers… something about a mega-sized block and travel and sweat and tears…

So here is a ridiculous tale of chocolate worship. (Some of you may recognise it – I wrote this last year as a guest post for the beautiful Grace of With Some Grace fame, and republish it here with her blessing.)

—-

I would do anything for chocolate, but I won’t do… Who am I kidding? There’s nothing I won’t do for chocolate!

Once upon a time, a friend of mine won a 10kg block of chocolate.

*DROOL*


While I would have celebrated this win by eating the entire block myself in one sitting, she decided to throw a party and invite everyone around to assist with the eating.

Silly girl. Silly, silly girl. But I was, of course, thrilled.

She set the date and sent out the invitations. And that was that.

The weekend rolled around, and I got ready for the party. I was SOOOO excited. Of course. Anyone would be, but my love for chocolate is beyond ridiculous.

I had recently injured my ankle (of course) so was on crutches (of course). The party was on the other side of the city, and I didn’t have a car. I had to hobble 1km on the crutches to the train station, then transfer trains, then transfer to a tram, then hobble 800m to my friend’s house.

But I was SOOOO excited. Of course. Anyone would be, but my love for chocolate is beyond ridiculous. The injury was not going to stop me. 

I set off. I sweated. I was uncomfortable. I made it to the train, panting. I wasn’t offered a seat. I switched trains. I managed to get a seat. I hobbled out to the tram. I wasn’t offered a seat. I fell onto someone when the tram lurched to a stop. I was finally offered a seat. I disembarked two stops later. I neared the house. I dripped sweat, I itched, I ached. But chocolate was near! I was so close!

Almost two hours after setting off from my house, I finally made it to my friend’s house. Just in time to see her driving off.

Puzzled, I hobbled up the front steps and rang the doorbell. Perhaps she’d just ducked out to get some wine. Her housemates would be able to tell me.

After what seemed an eternity, one of her housemates opened the door. I knew her well enough to call her a friend, but not so well that she’d ever think I was there to visit her. She looked at me, confused, and said, “She just left.”

 My smile faltered a little. “Yeah, I just saw her. Has she gone to get some wine?”

 Furrowed brow. “No, she’s gone to work.”

 “Oh.” Silence. “So, did she just get called in? Is she just filling in until they find someone else?”

“No, she’s working. Were you supposed to catch up tonight?”

“Yeah, well, isn’t she having a party?”

“What?”

“The chocolate party. Isn’t that tonight?”

Silence. Then…

Laughter.

“EM! You came for the chocolate party? You’re a month early! She hasn’t even got the block yet! YOU NUFFER! Oh, wait until I tell her! AND YOU’RE ON CRUTCHES! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA…” (This last bit went on for some time.)

Yep, that’s right. I went to a chocolate party A MONTH EARLY, hobbling my way there on crutches.

I left. I seethed at myself. I cried a bit. I dripped sweat, I itched, I ached. Almost two hours after setting off from my friend’s house, I finally made it home. And collapsed in exhaustion. And self-directed frustration.

But, one month later, I walked – crutches-free – to the train station, again completed the journey, and attended the party. The actual party. With actual chocolate.

And chocolate and I lived happily ever after.

—-


What’s the silliest thing you’ve ever done for chocolate?

Filed Under: Reflection Tagged With: chocolate

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Comments

  1. Kirsten Smith says

    September 26, 2014 at 8:33 am

    I admire your commitment to chocolate, especially while on crutches!!

    Reply
    • Emily says

      October 1, 2014 at 10:45 pm

      It is frightening. Sorry, admirable. Yes, admirable.

      Reply
  2. Lauren Matheson says

    September 26, 2014 at 9:43 am

    Oh I remember reading this story – it still bought a smile to my face! I love your chocolate shopping updates, thanks to you I’ve made special trips to the supermarket to buy a couple of blocks while they are on special 🙂

    Reply
    • Emily says

      October 1, 2014 at 10:46 pm

      Glad it was still a good read the second time around! Yes, my CSAs are creating quite the buzz. Am feeling the pressure to find this week’s chocolate special!

      Reply
  3. Six Little Hearts says

    September 26, 2014 at 10:44 am

    Hahaha! Too funny! I’d be livid! I can understand your desperation and drive however.
    I have just quit chocolate and I have so much energy!! Thanks for the laugh!

    Reply
    • Emily says

      October 1, 2014 at 10:46 pm

      I was livid! So mad at myself. Nothing worse than when your anger and frustration has to be direct inward.

      Reply
  4. Vicki @ Knocked Up and Abroad says

    September 26, 2014 at 11:19 am

    I have been admiring your ability to sniff out a good chocolate bargain this week! I’m usually an addict but I’m trying to stay a bay so that I can finally shift my choc gut that has come and stayed thanks to baby number two (choc is just so good for a temporarily fix of fatigue).

    Reply
    • Emily says

      October 1, 2014 at 10:47 pm

      Ditto. My friend calls her little belly her chocolate baby! I’m going to adopt it. The term, that is, not the ‘baby’.

      Reply
  5. EssentiallyJess says

    September 26, 2014 at 5:40 pm

    Oh I love you so much.
    Also wondering how much chocolate it would take to lure you over to SA for a cuppa?

    Reply
    • Emily says

      October 1, 2014 at 10:47 pm

      Leave a trail and I’ll follow it to you!

      Reply
  6. Lara at This Charming Mum says

    September 27, 2014 at 8:49 pm

    I had noticed all your impressive photos of chocolate ON SPECIAL lately. Always good to stock up in case of, you know, an ice age or something. Happy eating 🙂

    Reply
    • Emily says

      October 1, 2014 at 10:48 pm

      I am coming to the realisation that it is always on special, somewhere. Just got to sniff it out. I can smell chocolate from a mile away!

      Reply
  7. hugzillablog says

    September 28, 2014 at 6:14 pm

    EAT MY COMMENT BLOGGER!!!

    Reply
  8. hugzillablog says

    September 28, 2014 at 6:14 pm

    Oh, so THAT one worked. Of COURSE it did.

    Reply
    • Emily says

      October 1, 2014 at 10:48 pm

      Hahahaha! Sorry. Comments are to blogger what chocolate is to me. NOM NOM.

      Reply
  9. Alicia - OneMotherHen says

    September 28, 2014 at 10:06 pm

    I would have cried in a big puddle right there on the doorstep, and then consoled myself with a block of chocolate. I did buy dark chocolate the other day and really wanted salted chocolate and dipped it in salt and then ate it. I bet that was healthy. NOT. I did eat the whole block that night though, and it was good, really good.

    Reply
    • Emily says

      October 1, 2014 at 10:49 pm

      I love your version of self-salted chocolate! Haha! I have been known to brush my teeth and then eat chocolate for that pepperminty chocolate taste!!

      Reply
  10. Sarah from Creating Contentment says

    October 2, 2014 at 12:52 pm

    hahah! oh you!! Love you. xS

    Reply

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Hi! I’m Emily

I parent. I write. I blog. I play with words and numbers in my head. Constantly. It's crowded in there.

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