Sometimes, you predict friendships. You meet someone, you see that they are similar to you in certain ways, and you predict that you are going to become friends. And that you will stay friends.
I consider myself incredibly lucky to still be able to call the person who was my best friend when I finished school my best friend today. I consider myself incredibly lucky to be able to do the same thing with another friend from university. Many friends from university, in fact.
There are ‘obvious’ places to make friends. School. University. Work. Sporting endeavours. Parents group.
And then there are friends you make in different ways. And you thank your lucky stars that they’re in your life.
I have quite a few of these. Let me introduce you to some of them.
—-
The friend of a friend
When I was matron of honour for a friend (the school bestie I mentioned above), I knew her other bridesmaid but didn’t know-know her. (Self-promotional segue – know-know is an example of contrastive focus reduplication, which I discussed with the like-like example at The Shake last month.)
Through months of girls’ champagne nights, pregnant waddles (okay, that was just me), bridal gown shopping, bridesmaid dress shopping, babysitting, hen’s night planning, hen’s night participation and, of course, the wedding, we became very close. It’s perhaps not so surprising that two people who have a common friend would have other things in common, but I wasn’t expecting that the wonderful experience of being a part of my best friend’s wedding would deliver another rewarding friendship as a bonus!
The work friend of a work friend
While at a particular job earlier in my career, I made two very close friends. So close that I cried the day I left the organisation and sat with them for lunch for the last time.
I finished that job on a Friday, and someone else started on the following Monday. She became good friends with the same two friends of mine. They started inviting her along when the three of us caught up. Three became four – both ‘our’ three and ‘their’ three. Now, we catch up as a foursome all the time, and we’ve even caught up for lunch as a twosome. I can’t imagine not having her in my life.
The sister of a friend
When I was pregnant with Ashleigh, my friend’s sister was also pregnant with her first. We had met a few times, and lived in the same suburb, so my friend arranged for us all to meet up as we progressed through our pregnancies.
My friend went overseas, and her sister and I had our bubs. Before too long, we were arranging our own weekly catch-ups ‘for the children’ and talking and venting to each other in that way that only parents at the same stage of parenting can. And – the icing on the cake – our kids get along fabulously and always ask to see each other.
The friend I didn’t get to know when I should have
When I started university, I was still 17, and wouldn’t turn 18 until the end of the first semester. I was already nervous around older people, I’d never had much to drink, and the residential college environment didn’t immediately calm me. So in my first semester at university, I didn’t really get to know anyone at my college beyond those I’d spent Orientation Week with. Not even those with similar wordy-acting-singing-dramatic-sporting interests.
Eight years later, I attended a college friend’s wedding, and she had invited a friend who had been in third year when we started college. And bang. Just like that, he entered our main college friendship group. Seamlessly. Now, I can’t remember what it was like without him.
—-
Do you have friends that almost never were? How did they enter your life?
It’s always nice to make new friends that last the distance. We have a little group that has grown closer and we are all totally different and unlikely.
This post has made me reflect on all my friendships, actually, and the college friendship group I mention above has all sorts in it! Ones you’d think would clash – an environmentalist, an exec for an oil company, a construction manager, a unionist… the list goes on!
For me, what first jumps to mind is all the mothers I’ve meet because my sons have been diagnosed with autism. If is wasn’t for this, our circles would never cross. In the beginning, we were only friends due to circumstance ( a bit like mothers groups), but we now meet for us. I don’t know what I’d do with out them. xS
I’m so glad you’ve got a great group. My mothers group is like that. The twelve of us are meeting up for dinner kid-free next month and I can’t wait!
Hmmm, you have me thinking. The only 2 examples I can think of related to my son’s birth date. He was born June 30th. He was due July 1st. I joined an online parenting forum and the “due in June” group since he ended up being born in June (didn’t find them until he was born). 6 years later, they know more about me than most my “IRL friends”. Yes, they are an “online” mums group (with a private FB group) but I think if Nick had been born one day later I’d have never met them. I’ve met several of them in person, too, and they’re an amazing support group. Same thing, June 30th is the cut off date for school in QLD. Had he born one day later he wouldn’t have been allowed to start school. We almost didn’t send him to school. Then we did, and one of the other mums was wearing tennis clothes one day. My team was looking for a new player, and so I approached her. We have become good friends and our kids are in class again together this year. Crazy how people come into our lives sometimes. Great post!
Love this. She became my friend because she was wearing tennis clothes. GOLD.
These are great little examples of serendipity. I’ve been racking my brains trying to think of something similar but I’m drawing a blank. I’ve made all my friends the bog-standard way, directly through things like work, school, uni etc I’m boring that way. LOL.
Nothing boring about friendship!
I often look at my friendships and wonder why they started, most of the good ones that have lasted formed naturally… meet up ones or being introduced haven’t really stuck! GORG piccy of you BTW x
Aren’t you sweet. I felt frumpy that day, but will now admit to looking pretty decent if I do say so myself!
What a lovely idea for a post. Those are great stories of friendship. Most of my friends are either school, uni or work friends, but I did meet a woman at pre-natal yoga who ended up being in my antenatal class. We are very close now.
That’s lovely. There’s something about making new friends as you become a parent that makes them stick. That unique experience.
One of my closest friends today is the mother of a boy my son met at school. A school he only attended for two years. He only met the other boy (from the year above) because they both played games in the library at lunchtime.
The older boy verbally invited my boy to his birthday, which was a sleep over. I’d never ‘met the parents’, only had a phone number and address and hardly knew the boy… almost cancelled because it was all a bit too unfamiliar.
I met the mum on the night and though the start was uncertain and a bit unorthodox (independence training for her Mr 15) now I can’t imagine where I’d be without her.
#teamIBOT
What a lovely story! Lots of dominos lined up for that friendship to happen.
One of my really good friends is a woman I met at antenatal classes. We didn’t have massive conversations, just a hello, how are you while at the class. A couple of months later we ran into each other in a chemist, we’d both had our bubs and got talking about the whole being a new mum thing. We exchanged numbers, and have been friends ever since. Our boys are best friends too.
That’s lovely, and so sweet that your boys are besties!
Such a lovely wrap-up of some of your friendships, Em. My favourite “random” friend is Heather, who moved in next door to us in our semi in Stanmore. She had her bub just after I had Max. We used to “swap” houses so we could listen to a different baby crying. Yes, both were tough babies!!! We are bonded for life. x
This is brilliant! All baby cries hurt, but there’s something about your own that cuts deeper. Swapping with another baby. BRILLIANT! You should write a parenting book. Baby Tough Love.
I love random friends. I met one of my favourite people in the entire world when we randomly sat next to each other at a romance writers’ conference, and bonded over our dislike of vampires.
But they’re so shimmery and pale! (Yeah, I’m with you.)
Random friends rock. I met Tessa from Down That Little Lane when I won a competition and she delivered the prize. We hit it off and she has become one of my most treasured besties AND we work together now too xx
Fantastic! What a lovely way to meet. And what lovely people to do so!
Love this. One of my closest friends is a woman I met in a car park. She asked me for my trolley and we started chatting, and discovered we had a huge amount in common. We now catch up once a week. X