Breastfeeding mums, welcome! Do I have a special treat for you!
You can throw away your baby books, your breastfeeding guides and your feeding manuals. I have the answers!
Yes indeedy-do, that’s right, step right up, you heard it here first, yada-yada-yada.
You want to know if your child has started weaning him/herself? (I’ll go with him and he from this point, because my bub is a he.) Ta-da! The definitive five-point list.
Five signs your child has started weaning himself from breast milk
- He watches you eat and opens his mouth wide every time you take a bite, even if he’s just eaten solids himself, and all the while your boobs feel like bricks.
- He’s going longer between milk feeds, and dropping some altogether, meaning your boobs feel like bricks.
- When he finally does want a milk feed, he bounces off, then chokes on the flow, because your boobs are too full and feel like bricks.
- He refuses more milk, pursing his lips and turning his head away, even though your boobs still feel like bricks.
- And, finally, the number one sign your child is weaning himself: YOUR BOOBS FEEL LIKE BRICKS.
And, because I’m a generous soul, here’s a bonus sixth sign.
- When your husband goes for the grope, you karate chop his head off. Because BOOBS. BRICKS.
There you go. Publishers of parenting books, welcome to the site. I know you’re interested in my work. You’ll find my details in the contact me tab. I have plenty of excellent and very useful parenting content ready to go!
Next week: five signs your child is ready to start talking. (Sneak preview: He’s already said some words.)
Are you breastfeeding? Have you breastfed? How did you cope during the weaning phase?
Update 1 August 2015: It’s World Breastfeeding Week! And the generous souls at Parent Talk Australia are hosting a giveaway featuring products from the equally generous souls at Ergobaby!
This competition is hosted by Parent Talk Australia, where you can find the full terms and conditions. The competition closes on 7 August 2015.