I have been suffering from a case of the mother guilts. Big time.
I tend to overanalyse everything anyway. But becoming a mother, something that didn’t come with a rule book, gave me plenty to second-guess and feel guilty about.
And becoming a mother of two multiplied this. Exponentially.
I’m learning to rein in the self-imposed guilt trips. And two particular occurrences have helped.
One of the things I have been most worried about is how Ashleigh is coping with my attention being divided. And not 50/50 – babies demand more than just half of your time. Simply feeding and settling creates an imbalance before you’ve even added any other needs.
But Ashleigh has been asking for more babies in the house recently. Eight in fact.
Watch out. I might be the next Octomum.
Unfortunately for my darling daughter, eight more babies is definitely not on the cards. But this delightful(?) request has helped me see that she is used to sharing the attention. Even better than that, in fact. She must be enjoying herself if she wants eight more of these attention-sapping creatures in the house.
Another thing I have been worried about is reading with Mitchell. It probably sounds like a very particular thing to worry about, but books and music are two of the things I focused on when Ashleigh was this age, because they play such a large role in my own life.
I have worried that I just don’t have the time to read to Mitchell as much as I did with Ashleigh at this age.
But this sight – unprompted, undirected – filled my heart with joy: