In December, I joined a writing group and received ten writing prompts. And then life promptly got in the way of my writing and blogging mojo. It does that sometimes.
I kept the list though. I plan to visit a prompt every few weeks and post the result here.
The first prompt? Moving. Something I instantly fiddled with in my head (as you do) to produce moo-ving. Cows. Moo-ving. Exercising cows.
So here is a little ditty that I like to call ‘Hoof camp’. As opposed to boot camp. Because I’m clever like that. Ahem.
The cows have all gathered: hoof camp starts today.
It’s time to get fitness training underway!
They want to get slim for their basic survival,
And nervously await the Cow-mando’s arrival.
They’ve heard that the Cow-mando is mighty strict,
But just how much pain will he inflict?
Will he leave them trembling at the teat?
Or fashion them into lean cuts of meat?
Is he overrated? Is he a complete dud?
Or is he the ultimate bovine stud?
The Cow-mando arrives, and the crowd is stunned.
A few cows instantly demand a refund.
“He’s not fit at all!” “You’re pulling my teat!”
“What a load of bull – he does nothing but eat!”
But the Cow-mando won’t stand for that attitude.
“Milk bucket it, ladies. You’re just being rude!
“I have round juicy steaks, and I don’t walk the walk.
But I’m here to instruct. I can talk the talk!
“You’re not here to moo and chew the cud.
You’re here to work hard! Until you draw blood!”
So the cows start to moove. They do push-ups galore,
And then sit-ups and squats ’til they can do no more.
They run through the fields ’til their calves cry in pain,
Then they pick up their calves and run with them again.
They do burpees and star jumps, chin-ups and dips,
And they give up their diet of deep-fried grass chips.
They meet in the field every day, rain or shine.
Exercising from six until well past nine.
The Cow-mando is pleased: these cows are all right.
He prepares a surprise for the very last night.
He calls for silence, then begins to speak:
“I’ve enrolled you all in Tough Udder next week!
“I know you can do it – you’ve all reduced your girth.
Now milk your advantage for all that it’s worth!”
At first there is silence, then the cows all cheer.
It’s the very best news that they’ve heard all year!
The Cow-mando believes in them! The result doesn’t matter.
It’s enough to avoid the charcuterie platter.
The cows have all gathered: hoof camp ends today.
They’re all grade A top choice meat. Hooray!
What would you do with the prompt Moving? A tale about bovine boot camp? No? Oh. What then?