I quit chocolate last month.
That’s probably a nothing sentence for a lot of people. For most people.
Not for me.
I’d been thinking about quitting for a while. My habit had crept back up to a block a day. Any block – if it was the 350g mega-blocks that happened to be on sale that week, then yee-ha!, that’s the block I ate. Every day. Every. Single. Day.
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| A block a day keeps the doctor… well paid? |
My mind was rarely on anything but chocolate. When was my last bit? How long do I have to wait until the next one? How much is left? Can we get more? How can I distract the kids so they don’t notice me eating chocolate AGAIN?
You probably think I’m exaggerating. But I’m not. That’s only five questions. It’s not an overestimate. It’s an underestimate.
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| These Caramello Koalas didn’t even make it home unopened. I’m surprised there were any left to photograph! |
I’ve always eaten a lot of chocolate. I would have at least two Freddoes a day when I was at school. Then I went to university and lived on campus, where the kiosk sold blocks of chocolate for $1.80 each.
$1.80 EACH. I didn’t stand a chance. My block a day habit was born before I’d even turned 18.
I first quit chocolate when I was diagnosed with polycystic kidney disease at 20. It was an overreaction to something new and scary in my life – I also eliminated caffeine and alcohol, and as much salt as possible, to see how it would affect my blood pressure – but it was good for me.
But when it made next to no difference, chocolate came back. We had a teary reunion eight months after I’d kicked it out the door. It was sweet. (Boom tish. And groan.)
I quit chocolate again in 2011-2012. I was eating it out of habit rather than any taste or hunger reasons. I didn’t touch chocolate for six months, then decided I could reintroduce it and control my intake. Which I did, very well, at first. But we’d been trying for our second child, and finally succeeded. First came morning sickness, but then came the cravings. Oh, the cravings. I inhaled blocks of sweet, creamy, chocolatey goodness as the pregnancy cravings struck with force.
I may have blamed those pregnancy cravings for chocolate’s return, but my intake didn’t really decrease once bub arrived. First it was because I was tired. Then because it was normal again. It was simply what I did. Buy chocolate. Eat chocolate. Repeat.
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| This was my stash for the ProBlogger conference. The event lasted two days. The chocolate did not last. |
I quit again last month. On 7 October, in fact. Not one bit of chocolate since then. I’m hoping to make it a year this time. (Although I’m already considering giving myself a leave pass for Christmas Day…).
I still think about chocolate all the time. Not as often though, and as the days progress it’s becoming easier.
I know I’m making this sound like an epic battle. David and Goliath. Emily and Cadbury. Cue eye rolls, gagging sounds and whatevs, yo. I mean, come on, it’s just chocolate!
But it really is. I may be lucky that my battle is with something so tame, but it’s still a battle.
Five weeks. Today is the five week mark. 47 to go.
I THINK I CAN, I THINK I CAN…
What is your vice? Could you go without it for a year?
And do you think a Christmas Day leave pass is acceptable?!
You have brilliant willpower. I couldn’t do it. But I am much better now. Rather than every day, I’m down to once or twice a week. And I’m okay with that. I enjoy it more and don’t feel so bloated. All good! Good luck with it xx
That’s my aim. One day. Just a taste every now and then. I’ve got to get out of the ‘blocks are better value for money’ mindset and just buy a Freddo or something if I get the chocolate urge. This time next year, anyway.
Good on you. I won’t join you at the moment. Although I’m not eating blocks a day, just a row or two. x
No, I would never have done this to myself while I was still breastfeeding! NEEDED. THAT. CHOCOLATE.
All my family are chocoholics and I’m convinced given half a chance could easily eat a block a day each. Luckily, I don’t give them the chance. I love the stuff but it sets off my pancreatitis and the pain from that is enough of a determent for me.
Pain would be a very successful deterrent – sorry to hear it.
Well done on your 5 weeks! I’ve given up chocolate in the past and found it gets easier the longer you go without it! I’m thinking of giving up chocolate again in the new year. Christmas with no chocolate would just be too hard in our family! Although at the moment I am determined NOT to buy a Lindt Chocolate Advent calendar for December. If only I’d bought the Benefit makeup advent calandar before they all sold out!
It definitely does get easier. Even now, as I read this, I’m guessing I’ll not have a Christmas leave pass after all – I just don’t think I’ll actually want the chocolate! (WHO AM I?)
Wow that is MASSIVE for you Em, well done and I’m super proud of you.. I bet it can’t be easy..send some willpower my way x
Thanks Em. I’m using every ounce of my willpower, but as it gets easier I’ll send some surplus your way x
I totally understand the chocolate addiction. Good on you for quitting and good luck:) Visiting from #TeamIBOT
Thanks Bec. It’s much easier now!
Go you! That’s fantastic, I have a friend trying to break up with chocolate right now too. I hear it’s hard work. I go through phases with it. There are times when it is a daily thing. But then I stop. “Luckily” for me my migraines often give me no choice but to walk away …
Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit
“Luckily”. Yuck. I get migraines too but they’re not related to my chocolate consumption (obviously, or I would have done this long ago and stuck to it!). Mine can generally be tied to lack of sleep and not enough water consumption.
I saw you and chocolate at ProBlogger. This is a HUGE thing for you Em. I believe in you. xS
Thanks Sarah. Means a lot! x
I totally get this. I’m a chocolate addict just as bad as you. Before I hopped on the I Quit Sugar bandwagon I was eating chocolate, milo and nutella every day. Every day. It takes serious discipline and commitment to break a habit like that. I gave myself a leave pass for Christmas last year and it screwed me over. Just saying 🙁 Good luck. You are doing an AMAZING job x
Thanks Renee! Christmas leave passes suck. Got it. x
I am so proud of you Em!! You are a trooper!
I love chocolate, but I’m only a few squares a day person. Unless it’s a certain time of the month, and then I don’t even care.
You can do it!!!
Unless it’s Strawberry Lindt, am I right? I saw your poem! BUSTED!
Good Luck! I could never quit chocolate but I do have to remind myself to slow down on it sometimes.
If that worked for me, I’d just be doing that too!
I don’t think there is *anything* I could go for a year without….god speed Emily….god speed. x Aroha
Thanks A. x
Coke is one of my vices. I know it’s bad for me…but oh man it just tastes so good. I try to limit myself to only buying a bottle when I am out so I don’t have it at home. Then I buy two..because they are on special.
Good luck with lasting for a year, it sounds like you have pretty amazing will power!
I already had a two cans of Coke per week rule before quitting chocolate and am finding that hard to stick to now that chocolate is gone. Parties aside, I’ve stuck to it so far!
I went for a year without chocolate once and I ended up eating my body weight in lollies instead. Sigh. x
Lolly and doughnut consumption has certainly increased. But not to the extent that I was consuming chocolate. Nowhere near, in fact.
You are doing so well – and it is definitely tough. Just because it is something socially acceptable, doesn’t make it easier (quite the opposite, probably, chocolate is EVERYWHERE). I have given up coffee and alcohol for three weeks just to recalibrate and start getting some quality sleep and feel healthy and balanced and not on a constant cycle of high energy-low energy. I’m two weeks in and I am a cranky-arse bitch from hell. But I do feel much better too. Hope you keep on going from strength to strength – we’re all behind you. (And if you think you can handle a leave pass for Christmas, by all means, do it – it’s a long-term project – not about one day.) xx
Thanks for the nod. I’m stealing that sentence: “Just because something is socially acceptable, doesn’t make it easier.” Everyone’s always offering it anyway. COME ON, just a bit, who cares about your ban? Me! I care!
Xmas day leave pass is definitely acceptable. I would struggle to give up any food item, I think…I’m a fan of ‘just on occasion’…for pretty much everything….
Yeah, still undecided. I think I’ll give myself a Christmas leave pass and then not end up using it!
Well done!!! I made the switch to dark chocolate, eases the guilt factor…slightly
I don’t like it as much… actually, there’s another reason! I wouldn’t eat as much!
You’re doing so well, Em!!
I love chocolate with a passion, but coffee even more. And I’m giving it up on Monday…..EEEK, think of me x
I am thinking of you! I’ve never had coffee so can’t imagine what that’s like!
Well done Em – you have amazing willpower. I still can’t believe that you are torturing yourself by continuing with the community service announcements! That’s true dedication to your followers – thank you 🙂
Thanks Tash! I don’t go searching for chocolate specials – they just find me!
I think you are doing great. I don’t think I could give up chocolate for a year….I also don’t think I could give up pasta, or bread. Perhaps that means I should? I don’t know. If you want my opinion, I wouldn’t give yourself a leave pass on Christmas Day. I think it would only make things harder. But that’s just me. And I know me – I’d be like, well, I’ve ruined it now, may as well give up. You obviously have more will power than me already, so if you decided to indulge I’m sure you’ll be fine. (Do update us on what you decide though!) x
Pasta and bread are NEVER LEAVING MY DIET. Ever. Thanks for the advice – yes, all opinions sought!
Your chocolate is my gummi bears. I cant even imagine partying ways with them I really cant so cudos to you hun and your willpower xx
Gummi bears. Yummo! Will track some down… sorry, that wasn’t the point, was it?!
I’m reading this tonite, in 2019, I was searching for help on my chocolate addiction. My story is that I suffered from a relapse of anorexia two years ago, at 44 y.o, then, on my way to “physical healing ” I started to numb my emotions with chocolate but the problem was , is still, that if I choose to eat a chocolate bar, I plan on what food I’m going to cut off, to restrict, so I can allow myself to eat chocolate. The guilt has been there 100% of the time, and Just the way chocolate was kept in a special drawer shows that it is an addiction.Hidden. For the last two years Ive tried moderation. But it’s in my case impossible. It just is. One bite, one square, is already too much and sends me right to restriction. Thats no joke. Like a drunk, one beer is already too much. Ive had it all. Mindfulness chocolate eating, etc. I eat it like there’s no tomorrow , then, I am the unhappiest person on earth because I feel ashamed. I believe there are some food that can cause addiction. I know a diabetic woman who’s eating chocolate compulsively, you’ve never seen such a sad woman, she can’t help herself, she’s addicted. She makes herself sick, she knows it. Still, she hides it everywhere and eat it. One day she’ll die. Now, im skinny too. People tell me there’s no need to quit, Just like You, but my suffering is real. I NEED to quit. Being abstinent from chocolate when you’re out of love, when your adult daughter is estranged for years, when you’ve lost your job, friends, is extremely hard. But I must. It’s my only hope. Moderation doesn’t work. Not with chocolate. I’m a very healthy eater, this is my only vice, but it keeps me in hell. I wish I could hate the smell like I do with popcorn, it’s awful to me. Today, I’ve put the last remains of my Easter bunny in the bin but I was so scared I could dig in the trash later( I did it in the past, in the middle of the night) that I threw bleach on it. Nothing else works. Now ,someone come and tell me you can’t be addicted to chocolate, after how hard it is to quit, and the distress it brings? The only funny thing is that I am a Quaker, and that the Cadbury founder was….Quaker too. Ive read your other article about your previous attempt ( 10 things I know about breaking a chocolate addiction) and I wanted to know if you succeeded.Ive got my answer… I am so grateful I’ve read your article….I don’t feel so lonely now, even if our stories are different, you still struggle to quit as I see, years after, so …it IS an addiction! Chantale Perron from Chicoutimi, Quebec, Canada. Xxxx
Thank you so much for sharing this with me. It is 100% an addiction – it’s just a socially acceptable one. And when you’re naturally skinny as I am, regardless of how much chocolate you eat, any attempts to stop are mocked by others. I’m so sorry you’re going through this too. x