I promise I’m not being snarky. Or jealous.
I don’t want you to shut up because I’m sick of hearing about it.
But when things are going well, don’t gush.
Don’t flaunt it on your blog. Don’t talk about it on twitter.
And definitely don’t post a facebook status update like this:
Because by the end of that day, you will ache. You will sniffle and snuffle. You won’t be able to keep your eyes open.
You will be burning. Your thermometer won’t keep up as your temperature continues to increase. You will break out in a sweat. Then in a series of chills. Then another sweat.
There will not be enough water in your glass – your tap – THE WORLD – to slake your thirst.
Your throat will burn. Your head will throb. Your nose will run.
In short, you’ll get the flu.
Not a headcold. Not man flu. But real, actual flu.
And it will not be fun.
And you won’t be able to call in sick. (Luckily, your husband will be able to. He may not do it straight away, but when you threaten to flush his car keys down the toilet, he will see the light. He will then promptly show you up by having the dinner prep and dishes done before midday.)
So don’t tempt fate, karma, Murphy and his laws, or the universe by going on and on about how you’ve got it made.
Be happy. Enjoy it. Feel free to tell people things are going well.
But don’t gush.
At least, not until you’ve stocked up on tissues. And paracetamol.
Have you ever tempted fate/karma/the universe with a big ol’ fashioned gush – and lost?