I’d been warned it was coming. But knowing about it and living it are two very different things.
The ‘why’ phase.
At first, it was very cute. As most development stages are. And I revelled in the fact that my child was become more inquisitive about the world around her.
Ashleigh: Why are we going to the park?
Me: Our friends will be there. It will be fun.
Ashleigh: I like my friends. It WILL be fun!
But we have moved well past that stage. Everything becomes a why. Answers to whys provide fodder for new whys. And, when Ashleigh is getting tired, or is in supreme cheeky mode, we hop on a why city circle tram that loops endlessly around. (Blame the tautology in that sentence on why fatigue. And on my having recently read this hilarious review of the writing style of the Twilight series.)
—-
Why are you awake mummy?
Why are your eyes hurty mummy?
Why do we have to have showers and baths mummy?
Why do we have to be clean mummy?
Why can’t I brush my teeth with soap mummy?
Why can’t I brush doll’s teeth mummy?
Why doesn’t doll have to go to the dentist mummy?
Why can’t I brush my teeth in bed mummy?
Why isn’t there a sink on my bed mummy?
Why is this flower purple mummy?
Why is this flower red mummy?
Why are flowers different colours mummy?
Why are you pulling out that one mummy?
Why can’t I pull out this one mummy?
Why are you putting that in the bin mummy?
Why can’t I climb in the bin mummy?
Why do we have all these bricks mummy?
Why do we need bricks to build things mummy?
Why are you banging your head on the bricks mummy?
Why do I like cupcakes mummy?
Why are they delicious mummy?
Why are they chocolate mummy?
Why can’t we put chocolate in my pasta mummy?
Why can’t we have dad’s birthday cake before he gets home mummy?
Why does daddy have to blow out the candles mummy?
Why can’t I open daddy’s presents mummy?
Why can’t I tell him it’s a hat mummy?
Why can’t I tell you your present is a hat daddy?
—-
I have (mostly) kept my patience thus far. I like getting an insight into the inner workings of Ashleigh’s mind, into what interests and fascinates her.
But when the whys keep coming just because she’s on a roll, and she gets that cheeky grin where she knows that I know that she’s only doing it because she thinks it’s funny? That’s getting more and more difficult to handle.
I’ve tried turning the question back to her. ‘Why do you think XYZ, Ashleigh?’ One of two things happens: she answers, then insists I repeat the answer before diving into her next why question; or, she shrugs, says ‘I don’t know’, then repeats the question. Before diving into her next why question.
And all with that cheeky grin. Of course.
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| Me? Cheeky? Never! |
Why, oh why, do we ever teach our children the word why?
How did you handle/are you handling the ‘why’ phase? Any tips for encouraging inquisitiveness and an appreciation for learning while preserving your own sanity?
Wine. I drink wine.
Interesting. Perhaps I need to increase my chocolate intake.
She is adorable. She looks so grown up with plaits in her hair! I too remember thinking the first few ‘why’ questions were cute…funny even. Then I got over it!
Yes. New levels of respect for parents everywhere. And teachers.
I did exactly what you do – turn it back on them and say “Why do you think?” It used to buy me another 10 seconds of peace.
Ten seconds sounds like a lifetime right now!
I second Mrs Holsby.
Looks like it’s wine for the win! Post-bub arrival, of course.
Fred used to ask why all the time … but sometimes I remember that phase fondly … now he fixates on one topic at a time (like black holes or volcanos or other scientific pheonmena his English teacher mother knows nothing about) and asks questions just about that … most of which I can’t really answer and have to help him look up… I’m sure in another few years I’ll remember this phase fondly too. And yes, why do you think is a good answer. Sometimes I would limit him (after a day of questions) now it’s bedtime, you can only ask 2 more questions (or something like that) and the rest will have to wait for tomorrow…
I do wonder sometimes which topic she’ll eventually fixate on. Too early to predict her lifelong passion?! Probably.
Bahaha! Love that last question!
I just realised that I started using “Why” with one of the twins yesterday. Only because he turned around and answered with “Because…” Oops. No figuring out where it’s started!