emhawkerblog

The blog about reading, writing, singing, familying and verbing.

  • Home
  • About me
  • Book reviews
    • For children
    • For grown-ups
  • Writing
  • Family life
  • Songs
    • Rewrites
    • Music group programs
  • Reflection
  • Contact

We didn’t start the mummy wars

June 12, 2014 By Emily 58 Comments

The mummy wars. Whether you believe in them or not, you can’t deny that there is plenty of parental judgement going on.

I know that not everyone is judging you, and that we often read more into situations than is actually there. But sometimes it’s undeniable.

I’ve experienced a bit of judgement and hypocrisy lately, and at one point I snapped. (Not this time, obviously. Another time.). I put someone back in their place and, although it probably didn’t change their opinion of me personally, perhaps it will stop them next time they feel like passing comment on a stranger.
 
Anyway. Enough preamble. Here is We didn’t start the mummy wars, to the tune of Billy Joel’s We didn’t start the fire.


—-

Gwyneth Paltrow’s in the news, Kochie’s got breastfeeding views

Celebrity post-baby pics (the 57th take)
This person thinks it’s a doddle, that one thinks you mollycoddle
It seems you’ll make the wrong choices, whichever ones you make
Conceive early, trouble trying, IVF, egg-buying
Single parent, loved-up, part of a parenting team
Natural birth, C-section, water homebirth election,
Hospital stay, home the same day, whatever the dream
 
We didn’t start the mummy wars
They’ve been always flaring
Since we’ve been child-bearing
We didn’t start the mummy wars
If we didn’t ignite them
Why do we still fight them?
Breastfeeding, latch on, it’s too hard, you’ll catch on
Bottle feed, formula, pump milk with a machine
Mastitis, milk flow, solids, babycino
Strict schedule, bub-led weaning, something in between
Gluten-free, lactose-free, fish and chips with sauce for tea,
Organic, probiotic, low in salt and fat
Pre-packaged, processed, ‘superfoods’ are best
Allergens, additives, what’s with all of that?
We didn’t start the mummy wars
They’ve been always raging
But we’re still engaging
We didn’t start the mummy wars
No we didn’t plan them
So let’s try to can them
 
Bassinet, bed, cot, video feed, zoom shot
Baby sling, pram, stroller, capsule in the car
Controlled crying, let ’em weep, cuddle always, co-sleep
Shush now, earplugs, twinkle little star
 
Love the mum life, afterglow, PND, feeling low
Out and about, social life, stay at home at first
Nappies of cloth or plastic, stud buttons or elastic
Up a size, wear ’em loose, wear ’em ’til they burst
 
We didn’t start the mummy wars
Someone just decided
Mums should be derided 
We didn’t start the mummy wars
So please stop the scoring
‘Cause I’m sick of warring
 
Only child, pigeon pair, the third one was an accident, yeah?
One-year gap, ten years, match it up to your peers
Stay-at-home, full-time work, part-time work, freelance work
Home all day, child care, why does everybody care?
Kindergarten, primary school, ballet classes, swimming pool
Homeschool, learn through play, what else do I have to say?
 
We didn’t start the mummy wars
But we’re always sparring
Feathering and tarring
We didn’t start the mummy wars
If you haven’t worn my shoes
Then don’t mock what I choose
 
Disciplined, in a cage, let ’em loose, free-range
Time outs, mummy doubts, baby whispers, toddler shouts
Devil baby, angel child, feisty player, meek and mild
Pays attention, likes to learn, ants in pants, energy to burn
Big tantrum in public, everybody’s frantic
Shoulda coulda woulda done, stranger tries to smack your son
Loud yelling, deep discussions, excuses, repercussions
She should know better, she’s only four

I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE
 
We didn’t start the mummy wars
People judging others
Focusing on mothers
We didn’t start the mummy wars
I hope that when I’m gone
They won’t still rage on, and on, and on, and on…
 
—-
 
 
 
Are you sick of the mummy wars? I feel like I’m only scratching the surface. What else fuels them?๏ปฟ

Filed Under: Rewrites, Songs Tagged With: breastfeeding, children, diet, discipline, family, mummy wars, parenting, school, sleep

« Toys and nostalgia
When life gives you lemons… how do you keep on writing? »

Comments

  1. Mumabulous says

    June 12, 2014 at 8:43 am

    This is a prize example of why you are AWESOME YLSNED! By the time my second child came around I was so completely over the Mummy wars. Everyone is doing the best that they can.

    Reply
    • Emily says

      June 20, 2014 at 11:40 am

      You are making me blush, Mumabs. Thank you. And thanks for sharing it everywhere too!

      Reply
  2. Alicia - OneMotherHen says

    June 12, 2014 at 9:38 am

    Great lyrics Em. I seriously think you have too much time on your hands! xx
    There is no normal, no perfect when it comes to kids. No one has a right to cast stones, we all make mistakes somewhere along the line. We do what works for us and our kids, which makes it right for us. We need to remember that it may not be right for someone else’s situation.

    Reply
    • Emily says

      June 20, 2014 at 11:41 am

      Quite the opposite – my day is so BUSY and FULL with the mundane that my brain goes on little holidays to come up with this stuff!

      Reply
  3. Kim Frost says

    June 12, 2014 at 10:51 am

    You’re a genius Em. You need to film one of these as a parody video on Youtube and become FAMOUS. I know you can sing. It’s one of those secrets you let out of the bag. xx

    Reply
    • Emily says

      June 20, 2014 at 11:41 am

      That’s it. I’m putting genius on my business card.

      Reply
  4. Renee Wilson says

    June 12, 2014 at 5:02 pm

    Well done, Emily! I don’t know how you do it!

    Reply
    • Emily says

      June 20, 2014 at 11:42 am

      Thanks Renee!

      Reply
  5. Lydia C. Lee says

    June 13, 2014 at 8:05 am

    Great song! I don’t know why people get so judgeymcjudgey about it all….it’s like no other experience on the planet (people wouldn’t openly slag off your decisions to your face)

    Reply
    • Emily says

      June 20, 2014 at 11:42 am

      People don’t openly slag them, but still question them. It’s bizarre.

      Reply
  6. Denise Mooney says

    June 13, 2014 at 9:27 am

    Brilliant! I love this Emily. You’ve absolutely nailed it!

    Reply
    • Emily says

      June 20, 2014 at 11:43 am

      Thanks! I really do feel I’ve barely scratched the surface of what parents are judged for. Every decision ever, really!

      Reply
  7. Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me says

    June 13, 2014 at 10:51 am

    I might have just said “fug you’re amazing” out loud to myself about you and your amazing ability to write this! Bravo my friend, YOU SMASHED IT Em xx
    I second what Kim said – GENIUS!

    Reply
    • Emily says

      June 20, 2014 at 11:43 am

      Ordering new business cards RIGHT NOW…

      And thank you. x

      Reply
  8. preschoolmummy.com says

    June 13, 2014 at 2:01 pm

    Wow! Fantastic! I’m reblogging this ASAP and sharing on http://www.facebook.com/preschoolmummy

    Thanks for the giggle with my cuppa! I’m a terrible singer so it was awesome for my kids to listen to!

    Reply
    • Emily says

      June 20, 2014 at 11:43 am

      Thanks for sharing it around!

      Reply
  9. Pinky Poinker says

    June 13, 2014 at 7:30 pm

    Brilliant Emily! Brilliant! Clever girl ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
    • Emily says

      June 20, 2014 at 11:47 am

      Thank you!

      Reply
  10. Kate says

    June 13, 2014 at 9:29 pm

    Love the tantrum bit… she’s only four! I’ll remember this the next time my only four year old chucks a tantrum. Say, have you actually sung this to the music? Love to see a vlog Em!

    Reply
    • Emily says

      June 20, 2014 at 11:48 am

      I have… to myself. Thinking about a vlog. Maybe. Terrifying.

      Reply
  11. Rebecca Senyard says

    June 13, 2014 at 9:36 pm

    I love this song and your words are PERFECT. Definitely laughed at the line about the third child being a surprise!! Honestly you have a gift my friend. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
    • Emily says

      June 20, 2014 at 11:48 am

      Ha, thanks Rebecca! Everyone I know with three gets asked this, especially if they already had one of each gender.

      Reply
  12. Jodi Gibson says

    June 13, 2014 at 10:50 pm

    Nailed it Em! Love it ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
    • Emily says

      June 20, 2014 at 11:48 am

      Thanks Jodi.

      Reply
  13. My Yellow Heart says

    June 13, 2014 at 11:14 pm

    Wow!!! What a great effort and poem!

    Reply
    • Emily says

      June 20, 2014 at 11:49 am

      Thanks!

      Reply
  14. Tessa White says

    June 14, 2014 at 5:09 pm

    Super impressed!.. and I am with Bron, by the time I got to number two I just ignored everyone and figured I would raise a feral if needed as I was just over being told ANYTHING X

    Reply
    • Emily says

      June 20, 2014 at 11:50 am

      Yep, I just smile and nod and feel content in myself, knowing that I’m doing the best job I can.

      Or I smile and nod while my insides twist and turn and the resentment builds. One of the two.

      Reply
  15. Grace says

    June 15, 2014 at 9:19 pm

    OMG! I love this! I’m going to have it stuck in my mind now! So much better (and more relevant) than the Billy Joel original ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
    • Emily says

      June 20, 2014 at 11:50 am

      Thanks Grace, but I can’t agree. Go Billy!!

      Reply
  16. Sonia LifeLoveandHiccups says

    June 15, 2014 at 10:42 pm

    You know I am totally gonna be cursing you tomorrow when I still cant stop singing this song. Bloody brilliant and YES so sick of the mummy wars. xx

    Reply
    • Emily says

      June 20, 2014 at 11:52 am

      I STILL can’t a week later!

      Reply
  17. Vanessa says

    June 16, 2014 at 9:11 am

    Love it!! You could be the new weird Al!

    Reply
    • Emily says

      June 20, 2014 at 11:52 am

      Thanks, but this is another one I can’t agree with. Go Weird Al!

      Reply
  18. Debbish says

    June 16, 2014 at 10:08 am

    I’m only disappointed there’s no YouTube clip! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Reply
    • Emily says

      June 20, 2014 at 11:53 am

      Maybe. One day. Next month. Maybe.

      Reply
  19. Talking Frankly says

    June 16, 2014 at 11:44 am

    I want the DREAM – sing it, record it – I’ll share it. Inspired writing and kudos for going the whole song not just part of it. You’re a legend x

    Reply
    • Emily says

      June 20, 2014 at 11:53 am

      Thanks Allison! I think I could write four more with all of the things that parents are judged for.

      Reply
  20. Rhianna SG says

    June 16, 2014 at 3:38 pm

    Awesome post lovely! well done

    Reply
    • Emily says

      June 20, 2014 at 11:53 am

      Thanks Rhianna!

      Reply
  21. Kylie Purtell says

    June 16, 2014 at 5:27 pm

    Awesome! Absolutely nailed it Em!

    Reply
    • Emily says

      June 20, 2014 at 11:53 am

      Thanks Kylie!

      Reply
  22. Ed @ The Tunnel says

    June 16, 2014 at 5:34 pm

    I’m waiting for the Billy Joel wars to begin. And I submit that it was with “We Didn’t Start the Fire” that the great man’s long musical campaign went sour.

    Reply
    • Emily says

      June 20, 2014 at 11:54 am

      Oooh, big call. Big call.

      Reply
  23. mark @ fullhalfglass says

    June 16, 2014 at 5:53 pm

    If you’re not going to record and you tube this it would be a travesty. Magnificent!

    Reply
    • Emily says

      June 20, 2014 at 11:54 am

      A travesty! Well, I’d better get onto it then. Thanks.

      Reply
  24. NorthMelbourne Mum says

    June 16, 2014 at 10:15 pm

    Too good!

    Reply
    • Emily says

      June 20, 2014 at 11:54 am

      Thank you!

      Reply
  25. Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me says

    June 16, 2014 at 11:24 pm

    Thanks for linking lovely – you are a lege!

    Reply
  26. Veggie Mama says

    June 18, 2014 at 2:54 pm

    I could totally do without mummy wars! they suck

    Reply
    • Emily says

      June 20, 2014 at 11:55 am

      Agreed!

      Reply
  27. Jackie K says

    June 19, 2014 at 2:48 pm

    Oh brilliant! So good!
    Mummy wars are partly invented and inflamed by magazines (including online ones) . Most women I’ve come across are mutually supportive and agree to disagree on differences. I’ve felt judged a couple of times too, once like you I sharply put someone in their place and they apologized, the other time I just felt like crap at the time and angry later. These days I’m more confident/dismissive, but it took me a while to get there.

    Reply
    • Emily says

      June 20, 2014 at 11:56 am

      Well said. They are certainly inflamed to sell things – magazines, products, anything. We need to rise above so that things that use them aren’t actually sold!

      Reply
  28. Claire Hewitt says

    June 20, 2014 at 12:38 pm

    I always love new words to an old song when they are so clever. Great work.

    Reply
    • Emily says

      July 1, 2014 at 7:00 pm

      Thanks Claire. x

      Reply
  29. Kaz @ Melting Moments says

    July 9, 2014 at 6:19 pm

    So totally awesome! I loved that. Every bit!
    Mum power!

    Reply
    • Emily says

      August 3, 2014 at 9:28 pm

      Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it.

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Digging my new digs, and reflecting on 2014 says:
    December 14, 2014 at 8:05 pm

    […] of the YEAR. Visits and shares were phenomenal. And are still going. Have a read (and a sing)ย of We didn’t start the mummy wars. (And in 2015, you just might see a video clip. Oh crap,ย I’ve put it in writing. Now I have […]

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Hi! I’m Emily

I parent. I write. I blog. I play with words and numbers in my head. Constantly. It's crowded in there.

FOLLOW ME

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

SEARCH THIS SITE

View posts by month

Copyright © 2022 · Foodie Pro Theme by Shay Bocks · Built on the Genesis Framework · Powered by WordPress