emhawkerblog

The blog about reading, writing, singing, familying and verbing.

Oh, the Blogs You’ll Blog!

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Oh-the-blogs-you'll-blog

Congratulations! You’ve started a blog.
You’re ready to web-schmooze and work like a dog!

You have brains in your head, and a bum on your chair.
You can steer your blog any direction you care.
You’re at your computer, and you know the most,
And YOU are the blogger who’ll decide what to post.

You’ll look over topics, look ’em over with care.
About some, you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.”
With your head full of brains and your bum on your chair,
You’re too smart to blog stuff that you don’t wish to share.

You may not find anything to blog about.
In that case, of course, you’ll share your own doubt.

It’s freeing, you’ll find,
To blog your own mind.

Online things can happen and frequently do,
To bloggers as brainy and bumsy as you.
And when topics present, don’t worry. Don’t stew.
Just write what you know. You’ll know what to do.

OH! THE BLOGS YOU’LL BLOG!

You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be blogging most nights!
You might blog about feelings,
Sharing lows and delights.

You won’t lag behind, because you’ve got the goods.
Your path won’t be scattered with coulds and with shoulds.
Whatever you blog, you’ll be best of the best.
Whatever you type, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don’t.
Because, sometimes, you won’t.

I’m sorry to say so, but, sadly, it’s true
That silence and echoes can happen to you.
You can get all hung up checking site stats and shares,
And your readers will leave while you sit with the stares.

You’ll shake your head clear, but it might be too late.
And the chances are, then, that you’ll think you’re not great.
You might lose your way, learn your mojo has run,
And finding your mojo’s not easily done.

You will come to a time where the course is unclear.
Some things seem quite simple. But others? Oh dear!
You could blog something that hurts or offends!
Do you blog something that might upset your friends?
Do you stop just in case? Do you try to make amends?

And if you make a mistake, then what do you do?
Just let it fester, or offer defence too?
Apologise to others, or run off and hide?
Say something calming, or say something snide?
Acknowledge the others, or defensively deride?

You can get so confused that you’ll shut it all out,
You’ll be filled with confusion and a little self-doubt.
You might want to sit there and stew, sulk and pout,
But there’s another place that you’ll find out about.

The Waiting Place …
… for bloggers just waiting.

Waiting for a comment or two,
Or a post to publish, or something to do,
Or a word to use, or something new,
Or an email to arrive, or for you-know-who,
Or waiting around for a blogging clue,
Or something for me, or something for you.
The bloggers are just waiting.

Waiting for an event to land,
Or waiting around for a helping hand,
Or waiting to be in higher demand,
Or waiting, perhaps, for inspiration to strike,
Or a new follower, or their hundredth like,
Or a famous share, or some fancy gear,
Or some fresh air, or a Big Idea.

Bloggers are just waiting.

NO! That’s not for you!

Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and dicking.
You’ll find the fresh topics that get readers clicking.
With banner updating, once more you’ll share words.
Ready for anything, however absurds.
Ready because you’re with internet nerds!

Oh, the blogs you’ll blog! There are posts to be wrote!
There are thoughts to be shared. There are ideas to note.
And the magical things you can tap on those keys,
Make you the ducks’ nuts and also the bees’ knees!
Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can get,
With the whole wide world watching you write on the net.

Except when they don’t.
Because, sometimes, they won’t.

I’m afraid that sometimes – and I’m sorry, it’s true –
That blog-content-churn-burn can happen to you.

You can get all stuck up blogging stuff you don’t like,
Like that book about seaweed, or that seven-wheeled bike.
You’ll realise you can’t pay the bills with ‘exposure’,
And Google smacks down on those with no disclosure.
There are some blogging things that can become unfun,
And you might let unfunness decide that you’re done.

But on you will blog though the going be tough.
On you will blog though the trollers be rough.
On you will blog because you can’t get enough!
Onward and upward and out on the net,
Though your thoughts may be scrambled as thought-eggs can get.

On and on you will type, and I know you’ll type true,
And share wonderful lessons as experienced by you.

You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know.
You’ll get mixed up with many other bloggers as you go.
So believe what you write. Blog with care and great tact,
And remember that Blogging’s a Balancing Act.
Just never pretend that you’re better than most.
And always proofread before publishing your post.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will indeed!
(98 and 3/4 per cent guaranteed.)

BUT WHAT DOES SUCCESS MEAN? THAT’S UP TO YOU!

So …
… be your blog foodie or parenting or health,
Or grammar-slash-midwifery-slash-growing-your-wealth,
Your blog is important. You know this is true.
Your audience is waiting.
So … what will you do?!

—

(This post is the result of a writing prompt from a friend, who suggested I write about blogging in the style of my favourite author. Thank you for the inspiration Dr Seuss, and sorry that I butchered Oh, the Places You’ll Go! in the process.)

 

What do you think? What does blogging mean to you?
And who is your favourite author?

 

* Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. If you click to buy the item, I earn a little commission but you don’t pay any extra.

Comments

    • Totally not fair to the genius of Seuss, who not only laid the framework for this but, let’s be honest, provided many of the words. Thanks though!

      Reply

    • Thanks Vicki! From optimism to OH MY GOODNESS THIS IS HARD to deciding to do it for yourself. And everything in between. To success and beyond!

      Reply

  8. My god woman is there no end to your writing talent! excellent work here!

    I am the blogger who blogged, then got sick of the stuff being told not happening for her even though she followed it to the letter, then stopped blogging as much…then did it again in reinvention style…then nothing happened much at all…except frustration, spending $$ on site update looks..

    until one day, in late 2014 I said to myself….
    NO MORE!

    Blog every day in 2015 because I need to do this for me…no-one else and the way in which I will deal with the multitude of changes in my life will be to write on the blog. EVERY day. It was a magical way in which to give me purpose. Again. For the life I had finished was no longer doing so. In 2016 I have re-energised the blog and again, am doing it for one reason alone…to connect!

    Denyse #teamIBOT

    Reply

    • Thanks for sharing the blogging … buzzword warning … JOURNEY! Mine was started for me, and I’ve never chased blogging fame and fortune (what even is that?) but have certainly had the self doubt! Connection and sharing my words is what it’s all about now.

      Reply

  9. Sensational!!! It’s an interesting question for me, “What does blogging mean for me?” One that I only considered this morning over coffee with a friend. I think it would be fair to say, that it is a door opener right now, it seems the more I blog, the more opportunities are opening up to me. It has taken me in a totally different direction than I thought it would.x

    Reply

  10. Hello Em, that did make me laugh!! You clever cookies you. I’m visiting from IBOT and have to say that I’ve been terrible at visiting blogs. Have very little time and spend it all writing and taking photos and creating. But blogging is social!! get a grip, Smith.

    A blogging thing that once struck me was Mrs Woog saying that she build her blog one reader at a time… and I think that’s the way it goes. Persistence is key and so is humour! She also wrote on a FB comment recently ‘blog little and often.” I don’t and don’t and that really struck me as wise… so yesterday I wrote a quick post – how refreshing!

    Reply

    • Visiting blogs is important, but always always ALWAYS has to come second to writing your own words and also just living life.

      What a wise woman that Mrs W is. Absolutely. One at a time. Find your people. Connect with your people.

      Reply

  11. I fucking love you. You had me at “bumsy” but took me even higher with this: “Ready because you’re with internet nerds!”. You are seriously freaky brilliant.

    Reply

    • Naw. Schucks. Thanks, but it’s all Seuss. With some very minor blogging updates. Didn’t take long. x

      Reply

    • Thanks Haidee! Not long, but it wasn’t writing from scratch. I can recite Oh, the Places You’ll Go! in my sleep!

      Reply

    • Ha, that’d be interesting! Think they’d sell well at blogging conferences? If it existed, all royalties would be going to Dr Seuss’ estate. Fo’shizzle.

      Reply

  18. This is AWESOME! You should totally publish this as an illustrated e-book for new bloggers 😉 Here’s cheers to us brainy and bumsy bloggers xx

    Reply

  30. You are so clever, Dr Hawker! This pretty much summed up my blogging journey…especially that waiting game for comments…and that happy dance in the lounge each time I got one!
    To me, blogging is just my little creative release and my connection time with fellow bloggers.

    Reply

    • Dr Hawker has a nice ring to it! Might go get that PhD after all. (Do you like how casually I said that, as if people are asking me to do one?!) Love what blogging is for you. x

      Reply

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