How many decisions do you think you make each day? Ten? Twenty? Fifty? A hundred?
I have no idea how many decisions I make each day. Possibly less than when I was working full-time. Possibly more, but because they’re seemingly smaller they don’t always register as decisions.
What to have for breakfast. When to shower. What to wear. What to dress Mitchell in. Whether to let Ashleigh wear the shorts she just HAS to wear despite it being 15 degrees outside.
What to do. Where to go. How to get there. When to eat. What to eat. When to feed the kids.
All this and many, many more decisions. Some bigger. Most so small I make them in a second. Snap.
Not Ashleigh. She’ll make some of the same decisions. What to have for breakfast. What to wear that day. What to have for lunch.
She’ll um and aah. And ponder. And. Think. Hmmmmmmmmmm. She even puts her finger on her chin and tilts her head for dramatic effect. Hmmmmmmmmmm.
What to eat? What to eat, what to eat, what to eat? So. Many. Choices. Well, let’s see. I could have this. Or this. Or this. Or this AND this. Or this and this AND this and…
AAAAARGH.
It is not uncommon for Ashleigh to take five months hours minutes to make such seemingly simple decisions.
I’m often tempted to yell. Sometimes I do yell. Probably more often than I realise. Sometimes we need to be somewhere soon. Or needed to be somewhere ten minutes ago.
Perspective. These tiny things, seemingly unimportant as I rush about doing a million things, with a gazillion thoughts in my head, are actually the biggest decisions of her day. They are often, in fact, the only decisions of her day.
I think Elizabeth Pantley says it best (in her book the no-cry discipline solution):
Children are… childish. Their actions, thoughts, and words originate in a place of innocence and from an egocentric understanding of the world. If a child wants a cookie, he is thinking only of the rich taste of chocolate and the pleasure it will bring him. He’s not thinking about how it affects his appetite for lunch, how it fits into his overall diet, or how the cost fits into the family grocery budget. He’s not even thinking if asking fifteen times will make his mother mad. He purely and simply wants a cookie.
So I’ll let her deliberate. Um and aah. Consider. Pose. Preen. Enjoy the attention for a moment.
Until it’s dinnertime and she’s STILL deciding what she wants on her toast for breakfast.
Do you get frustrated when your child takes FOR… EV… AAAAARGH… to make a decision?
My children are older (I have 4) but the thing I always clung to when the stress is at its worse, is that “everything changes”. Each phase passes and you wonder why you were so tense. But before I sound too smug, my teen daughter is stretching my belief, my karma at present! 🙂
Yes, I keep telling myself I’ll look back on these days with longing! I’m trying to remember that timetables aren’t important.
When I toddler sit for my grandsons, I seldom ask them what they want. Otherwise they never want what I can deliver. It is easier to tell them. “Your going to wear this, or this is what is for lunch.”
That works in moments, but if I did that 24/7 she’d (rightly) get fed up with not having any autonomy. She gets to choose what she wears (from a few options presented), what to have for breakfast and what plate and cup she gets to use. Not much more than that.
I have to cut down on decisions for Mr 4 or we’ve never get anything done. I usually give him a choice of two things to wear and that makes it easier. Although when it comes to choosing a movie he seems to take for-evah!
Ashleigh’s just starting to watch an occasional movie now. So the choices are limited, but I can see it becoming a potential problem!
Oh I just need more patience full stop! Today I was all grumpy and my 10 year old gave me a look that totally screamed ‘just chill mum!’ Patience is not my strong point!
I’ve never wanted a tattoo, but if I had to get one, ‘just chill mum’ would be perfect.
Lol. Umm yes. I spent a great deal of time this afternoon lifting my three year old up to see inside the pantry. Such a tough decision. She is very quick to decide what she wants to wear though. Choosing undies is another story though!
Haha! There are ISSUES here if we can’t find matching undies and singlet. Oh yes there are.
Yes I DO, but with 3 I have just decided to give them less choices, especially about food and clothes, it’s too painful otherwise, especially with the youngest ones. Miss 5.5 just does things now without me telling her! It is hard not to rush our babes, especially when we have somewhere to be! xx
Nice. Ashleigh is generally given a choice of a pre-selected set, but it can still take FOREVER for the final decision to be made!
Oh the patience thing…Yes, my two can take ages or simply say no to every suggestion. So tonight, I asked MissAlmost7 what side dish she’d like with her turkey and salad, and she just said. “None. I don’t care!” :/ #teamIBOT
I haven’t had no to every suggestion. Yet. She’s only three though. I’m sure it’ll come!
None. I don’t care. HAHA!
Oh Em, it drives me nuts waiting for Bell to make decisions!!! But, my husband is just as bad, so I guess she has an excuse LOL.
No comment for fear of incriminating myself!! x