I find it hard to switch off at the best of times. But in the late stages of pregnancy, the nesting instinct hit.
Hard.
Despite the fact that I was tired and stressed, had higher blood pressure and resembled a blimp, I continued to clean. Sort. Tidy. Arrange.
And everyone would tell me to relax. ‘Relax now, while you can. Soon you’ll have two. Put your feet up.’
Now, people still tell me to relax when I can. ‘You rarely never get moments to yourself. Enjoy them. Have a cuppa. Read (three chapters of) a book.’
Sure thing. There’s just one problem.
IT’S NOT THAT EASY!
If something needs doing, I can’t help myself. It has to be done. If you tell me to ‘relax’, all you’re doing is adding something to the bottom of my to-do list.
Do the dishes. Check.
Do a load of washing. Check.
Tidy Ashleigh’s room. Check.
Do another load of washing. Check.
Chop vegies for dinner. Check.
Do yet another load of washing. Check.
‘Relax’. Okay. For how long? Is this long enough? Great. Check.
‘Relaxing’ doesn’t stop work needing to be done. It doesn’t clean the house. It doesn’t cook dinner.
It doesn’t stop my mind flying at a million miles an hour.
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Back in ye olde corporate days, I would often work late. If my boss’s boss saw me in the office after a certain time, he’d invariably come over to my desk and tell me to go home.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s lovely that he cared, and that he didn’t want my work/life balance to be a work/more work/a bit of life balance.
But the above points apply to the work environment as well.
Being told to go home doesn’t stop the work needing to be done. It doesn’t create marketing plans. It doesn’t analyse seminar feedback. It doesn’t write reports. It doesn’t send draft communications to the legal team for approval.
It doesn’t stop my mind flying at a million miles an hour.
—-
So, while I appreciate the sentiment, it won’t work. If you come over to my house and see me tidying, cleaning, preparing dinner or otherwise just busily DOING, don’t tell me to stop.
Talk to me as I get on with it. Or, if you really want me to stop, pitch in. Or take over. So I can move on to the next thing.
Or run the bath, add some bubbles, pick me up, throw me in the bathroom and lock the door. Bonus points if you put a new book in there too. And some chocolate, of course.
Just don’t forget to keep up with the DOING while I’m in the tub, relaxing. Or I’ll be in the tub, stressing.
With my mind flying at a million miles an hour.
Can you switch off when there are things that need to be done?
I am good for nothing…in fact I am gifted in the art of doing nothing.
Care to open a school? I’ll enrol! (Or would that undo your doing of nothing?!)
I completely relate! I find switching off near impossible. Now that I don’t have my kids a few nights a week everyone tells me to take a time out and enjoy the break. Are you serious? REALLY?
I couldn’t either. I’d be even worse, I think, running around doing EVERY LITTLE THING I could think of!
No, not when there are things to be done. And I always think, just one more day and I will have this list of things knocked over. And it never happens.
Never. Ever.
I think maybe it’s about grabbing little bits of relaxation when you can. I spend my day doing, doing, doing, and just can’t wait to get into bed at the end of it with a great book. Works for me, anyway.
Ah, reading in bed. Looking forward to reintroducing that into my life when the fatigue clouds lift.
I am a good for relaxing , procrastination Queen. Though when I do things – it all at once …flooded the kitchen more times in last 2 weeks filling the kettle than ever have. Trying to do it all in least amount of time.
Ps come and win some chocolate off me.
I’ve entered. Did I win? DID I WIN??!!
You know, this relaxation thing does get easier with practice.
Interesting perspective. I must schedule some practice. (Does scheduling it defeat the purpose?)
Nope. I most definitely CANNOT. Unless, like you say, someone does all the things, and then, finally, I flick the switch to ‘OFF’! Relaxing’s only enjoyable if all the jobs are finished first. That’s how it works for me, anyway.
Agreed. Ah, Kim. Kindred spirit.
Em I’m with you one hundred percent! Well maybe not 100, but possibly 87%. I do have to schedule relaxing time though or it won’t happen. There is just so much that needs doing! Hope the robo maid is helping you a little. Xx
Don’t tell anyone, but I haven’t used it yet. I set it up and was going to put it on while we were out, but remembered at the last minute that it would set off the motion sensor! It’s getting its first run tomorrow. EXCITEMENT!
I used to never be able to switch off. Especially when I first had the twinlets. And in fear of sounding like all new age-ish, hippy-hippy, meditation has been great for me. Took me ages to “get it” but I really love how I get this light floaty feeling afterwards. But yeah, don’t tell me to relax, or I’ll just bite your head off instead!
Thanks for the suggestion, Grace. I don’t think it would work for me. But that’s exactly why I SHOULD try it.
I am a good relaxer but there’s often the niggling thought of the chores that haven’t been done. I like to sit an watch Dr Phil with a cuppa whilst Dora has her nap.
PS. Signed up to follow you on Blog Lovin. I like your blog!
Yay! Thanks for signing up. It’s great when I can synchronise the naps. (But only because I can get more done! So pathetic!)
Well said – I agree, if I have my mind set on getting things done I won’t be happy until they are. I agree, come and help my ass out instead of telling me to chill out. Hope you getting some rest though Em!! Em x
Hehe. I almost changed the end – in a lot of circumstances, I actually don’t want help because I like things done a certain way! (LAME I KNOW!!) But feel free to chat to me while I carry on.
Perhaps, like me, your idea of relaxing is actually getting in and getting things done. I would actually be more stressed and anxious if I was sitting around doing nothing and there were things around me that needed to be done.
I was in hospital from the 20 week mark on bed rest when I was pregnant with my youngest. I had a 1 and 2 year old at home. A home we had recently sold and needed to pack up to move, and they wondered why my blood reason continued to rise while resting/relaxing.
That’s true. How can I relax in filth/without things done? I do feel more relaxed after hubby and the kids disappear for afternoon and return to a spotless house. (And hopefully a few weeks’ worth of blog posts scheduled!)