There is room in your heart for the love for another baby.
Or maybe your heart grows.
Or maybe the love overlaps.
Or maybe your heart knows from the time it is created just how much love you’ll have to give in your life, and is exactly the size it needs to be to let that happen.
Or maybe love doesn’t take up space in your heart. Maybe it just is.
Or all of the above.
Or none of the above. Perhaps love is something that should stay restricted to the experience of being human instead of being belittled by attempts to describe the experience and emotion with words.
I don’t know.
I don’t care.
I’m in love.
Don’t vomit yet. Just go with me here.
I never thought I’d love anyone as much as I love Cameron. He’s my equal, my partner, my balance, my counterweight. My voice of reason. For want of a more fitting term, he is my soul mate.
Then came Ashleigh. She is my sunshine. My light. My burden. Sound incongruous? Not at all. She’s a beautiful burden. A gift of more love than I know what to do with at times, tied to more responsibility than I’ve ever experienced in any other aspect of my life.
Then came Mitchell. More sunshine. More light. More burden. More love tied to more responsibility.
It’s all more than I ever thought I’d be able to handle.
But I can handle it. In fact, I need it. It buoys me when I see a smile, a shared secret, a shared joke. A laugh, a moment of learning, a moment of joy.
It’s what I cling to as I travel back through this newborn world of sleeplessness, constant feeds, soothing and rocking. As I view the world through a sleep-deprived haze of exhaustion and short-temperedness.
As I learn about this new world of lashings out, of attention-seeking, of tantrums. Of balancing needs. Of being torn in two different directions.
Love. It’s beautiful. It’s difficult. It’s demanding.
I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I’m a very lucky woman.
Are you ever surprised by how much love you have to give?
Love is a magic, that is what it is. It can’t really be explained, it can’t be touched, it can stretch and break and do all sorts of things, and it is infinite.
Beautifully expressed. Thanks, Claire.
That’s really beautiful. Love is such a powerful emotion – for all the goods and bads it brings with it. Beautiful pics too 🙂
Thanks, Lara. That’s the point, isn’t it? Love brings bad too. Makes you appreciate it even more, I guess.
What beautiful words. It’s much more than love. As Claire said, it really can’t be explained. x
It can’t – but we all try, don’t we?! Thanks, Jodi.
So gorgeous! Love is something that has no words and can only be described by ‘that feeling’. What beautiful words xo
That feeling, or that space in which all other feelings exist together. It seems like love encompasses everything else!
“More light. More burden” – Gah, Em! You got me all teary!
Love is an amazing thing. Having a family is one of life’s greatest joys. x
Sorry for the tears! And yes. An absolute joy.
I think I was meant to read this today Emily. I just don’t know if I can have the third baby that my husband wants so badly. I don’t doubt I have more love and there would be more light, I just don’t know if I’d cope with the more burden!
Hugs. I hope you both make the right decision, whatever it is! x
Lovely post Emily! I was amazed when I had Mr6 that my heart, so full of Mr9, stretched and stretched and stretched. Thanks for Rewinding.
I like the idea of it stretching. But in a way where it can’t break. At least, not from ‘over-loving’!
I love this ” My light. My burden… A gift of more love than I know what to do with at times, tied to more responsibility than I’ve ever experienced in any other aspect of my life.” That’s sort of the nutshell, isn’t it. A bit of both…
The balance. The love always wins out though. Always.
It’s amazing isn’t it? I went through the same process with my wife, my daughter and then my son. It’s totally overwhelming at times. Lovely post
Thank you! Yep, I’m amazed at how much love we all have to give.
Love this! I look at Mr 4 and think wow there is a person who no matter how much he drives me up the wall, I love him to the moon and back.
Thanks Tegan. The moon and back and then around the world a couple of times (the current way A describes her love for us all!).
Normally, I may vomit 😉 but I’m in exactly the same boat. I am completely head over heels for my youngest baby, at 1 year old, she’s still enough of a baby to cuddle and coo over every day. I am adoring and cherishing this time completely.
It’s absolutely wonderful!
Yep, a few months on and I’m still feeling gooey! I wonder if this post will make me vomit in a few years’ time.
This is magical, I am constantly amazed of our compacity to love and for our hearts to grow….you make me not be able to wait to be a mum xxx
That is the loveliest thing you could say. Thank you.
You are certainly lucky indeed, and more so that you can take such beautiful emotions and capture them with your words to immortalize how you feel – I especially like the line “Don’t vomit!” love is humour and I think without it, love would not be able to survive, thank you for linking up to #convocoffee Josefa
Thank you Josefa, and thanks for hosting Conversations with…
Yes yes yes! Everyone told me the love you have with your children is stronger than soul mate and I didn’t believe them, until I had my babies. Lovely post, and you look HAWT in that gorg wedding dress x
Nawwww, thanks! It’s one of those things you just can’t ever know. I remember being a kid and telling my parents I loved them as much as they loved me. Now I know that’s probably not the case, because my love for my kids is just beyond anything else!
No love like it is there for you child and how privileged we are to experience such a feeling. Stopping by from #Convovercoffee
Privileged. Absolutely. Thanks for visiting.