I love helping Ashleigh learn new things. There’s a sense of satisfaction and, I’ll admit, self-serving pride when I explain something to her and see the ‘penny drop’ moment, knowing that she has understood.
But she’s reached that age where her learning is growing exponentially. She takes what I and others ‘teach’ her and applies it to what she already knows. She makes links and connections on her own, applies things discussed in one context to other contexts, and reaches new conclusions.
It’s amazing to watch.
And the most amazing thing of all? Watching her make new friends.
There’s something heart-in-the-mouth about watching your child wander over to a group of people she doesn’t know at the park. It’s difficult to stay back and not go with her, introducing everyone to everyone else and ensuring they all ‘play nicely’.
But you stay back. And watch.
And learn something yourself.
Ashleigh can be shy at times, but it never lasts long. We don’t have to be somewhere long before she feels comfortable enough to approach other children and join in the fun. Or, in some cases, dictate the fun.
We were at the park recently when two older girls arrived. They were playing together and talking about how grade two was much more fun than grade one.
Ashleigh sat and watched. She didn’t budge. She didn’t run and hide, but she didn’t approach them either.
At first.
The older girls started digging around the sandpit, and that’s when she made her move. She went and sat beside them, started digging as well, and asked, “What are your names?”
What are your names?
Simple. They answered, Ashleigh told them hers, and it was done. They chatted. They played together. The older kids held Ashleigh’s hands as they wandered around the park. They all went down the slide together. The older girls took turns pushing Ashleigh on the swing. They ran around playing chasey (which Ashleigh didn’t quite understand, but enjoyed nonetheless).
And, when they needed a break, they sat down together to have a drink and eat some snacks, sharing the assorted food items they’d brought to the park.
What are your names? So simple. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve chatted to other parents, grandparents and carers at the park without even asking that simple question. I get home and tell Cameron about this wonderful person I was just chatting to, and when he asks if we’re going to catch up again, I have to sheepishly tell him that I don’t even know their name.
What is your name? This was fun; our kids get along really well. Want to meet up again sometime? What’s your number?
Simple. Yet so difficult.
Ashleigh, you are already teaching me so much. About love, patience, tolerance and setting boundaries. About the joy of teaching and learning. And now, about making friends and fitting in. I can’t imagine what else you and your brother-to-be are going to teach me as we continue on this journey together.
What has your child taught you?
And do you make friends at your child’s activities? Do you just dive right in and ask for phone numbers?
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[…] Me neither. KISS. Keep it simple, stupid. Time to learn another lesson from my toddler. Anyone can be a friend.What have you learnt from your three-year-old? How does your child make […]
Watching my son on the jersey shore boardwalk meet (girls) while other teens strutted and preened unsuccessfully. His technique? Exactly as your little girl. He simply walked up to the girls and said, “Hi, my names is Matt, what is yours?”
What a lesson, but it was too late for me.
Yep, that’s way better than some cheesy pick-up line!
That is so cool. I am shy when it comes to other parents usually as I am hiding pretending my 2 don’t belong to me!!
Haha, I’m sure that time is just around the corner for me!!
The problem with asking this question is that I would forget it within seconds. Not only do I have a crap memory, I just cant hold names in my head…..
I would on the other hand really appreciate someone asking me for mine to break the ice. Very cool!
Becc @ Take Charge Now via #FYBF
Good point. I often remember the kids’ names and nothing else!
that is awesome. one of my friendships i made was at the public library – another mom with 2 little girls, her older one and my 2 had a great time and then we found out we both lived nearby (good thing about local library is many of the people there are local). i was bold and did ask to keep in touch and she invited us to her home. we became good friends and even had a weekend visiting them after they moved down the coast.
i always felt so proud that i asked the question as it would have been another lost opportunity (and back then we were not at school yet so were still making friends in this new city)
Isn’t it funny how daunting it can be? It feels like you’re asking them on a date!
It’s bizarre really, how we teach kids to ask names first, and then we often forget it ourself! I don’t remember the last time I asked someone their name!
Thanks for the life lesson Ashleigh! 🙂
I don’t even remember teaching Ashleigh to do that!
Yes, I think Ashleigh is onto something there. One of my best friends was made because she made the bold move and asked me my name at an aerobics session! I’d lived in Echuca for a while and had no friends there yet, she came up to me before our aerobics session began and said, “I’ve seen you here for a few weeks and I think you seem like a really nice person. We introduced ourselves and she asked if I wanted to go out for coffee sometime”!! I was thrilled, we became best friends, and I was her bridesmaid two years later when she got married!
Nice work! I love friendships that start like that. And I need to think of them when I’m feeling too nervous to ask!
Beautiful! My boys are teaching me to just let it go and laugh at everything (unless they’re crying, of course ;))
Haha, even then you just have to laugh sometimes so you don’t start crying yourself!
How lovely – she is very brave to ask bigger girls, my daughter always seems in awe of older girls, and often keeps away. My children have taught me to be more patient, well they’re trying 🙂 Em
Yes, I hope this sort of confidence is here to stay!
Such a lovely post! My son is so happy all the time, he is always smiling and laughing. He brings that out in me. You can’t help but laugh back.