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This is what anxiety looks like

April 9, 2018 By Emily 24 Comments

It’s angry and frightened
And bitter and sad
It’s numbness
Wrapped in every feeling you’ve had

It’s constantly watching
And checking around you
Hoping your enemy
Doesn’t surround you

It’s planting a grin
On your public ‘brave face’
It’s faking so well
Nothing seems out of place

It’s smiling for photos
While guts churn inside
It’s facing the world
While your instincts scream HIDE

It’s making a joke
So your kids aren’t afraid
It’s hiding your tears
So their fears are allayed

It’s crying in showers
Then drying your eyes
It’s breathing in deeply
And seeking blue skies

It’s asking for help
And raising a hand
It’s taking the steps
Toward making a stand

It’s writing a blog post
For others to see
So that they can read it
And think not just me

Filed Under: Writing Tagged With: anxiety, PTSD

« Trust and respect
The kindness of strangers – part three »

Comments

  1. Kimba says

    April 10, 2018 at 8:02 am

    All the love honey. It is so frustrating and scary and entirely awful.

    The 0-100 anger surprises and upsets me every time. Not least because it’s my family who have to deal with it.

    Reply
    • Emily says

      April 11, 2018 at 5:33 pm

      Thank you very much. Yes, although for me it’s more often the 0-100 fear. Doorbell ringing, certain sounds or silhouettes when I’m out and about… I hear you. x

      Reply
  2. cathy says

    April 10, 2018 at 8:29 am

    Hugs Em

    thank you for putting this into words xoxo

    Reply
    • Emily says

      April 11, 2018 at 5:33 pm

      You’re welcome. Thanks for the hugs x

      Reply
  3. Vanessa says

    April 10, 2018 at 12:42 pm

    Frustration boils up at us in the strangest of ways xox

    Reply
    • Emily says

      April 11, 2018 at 5:34 pm

      Absolutely. Thank you.

      Reply
  4. toni @ finding myself young says

    April 10, 2018 at 12:49 pm

    I can totally relate to this Em

    Reply
    • Emily says

      April 11, 2018 at 5:35 pm

      I am equal parts relieved I’m not alone and sorry that you experience it too. x

      Reply
  5. Natalie @ Be Kind 2 You says

    April 10, 2018 at 1:14 pm

    It’s all of the above and it’s real.

    Reply
    • Emily says

      April 11, 2018 at 5:41 pm

      So real. And for other people, I’m sure it’s more than the above. And for others, perhaps none of the above. So many variations.

      Reply
  6. Denyse Whelan says

    April 10, 2018 at 6:34 pm

    Looks like I need to repeat my comment…of course I cannot remember it.

    However, the message I wanted to send with love is that I understand how very very tough this is…but I am hopeful that as this year goes on, there can be some loosening of those very tightly-held thoughts and fears so that YOUR and the family’s life is not a victim of those who have hurt beyond measure. Sending love and hugs, Denyse xx

    Reply
    • Emily says

      April 11, 2018 at 5:47 pm

      Thanks for coming back to comment again! Sorry about the initial issues. I am no longer wholly consumed by these thoughts. The fears will always be there to an extent, and certain ‘events’ morph them into panic, but we’re doing much better. x

      Reply
  7. Lara at Charming Language says

    April 10, 2018 at 9:32 pm

    Anxiety is a monster – and it takes so many forms. You’ve expressed this so well!

    Reply
    • Emily says

      April 11, 2018 at 5:49 pm

      Thank you. Yes it does – in fact, I ummed and aahed over this post title! But this IS what anxiety looks like. It just looks like a whole lot of other things too! Thanks for the compliment x

      Reply
  8. Maxabella says

    April 10, 2018 at 11:23 pm

    I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time, Em.

    Reply
    • Emily says

      April 11, 2018 at 5:49 pm

      Thank you. We’re on the up. I mean that. x

      Reply
  9. Jo @ You had us at hello says

    April 17, 2018 at 12:02 am

    Nailed it without a doubt! Thinking of you xx #teamIBOT

    Reply
    • Emily says

      June 24, 2018 at 4:29 pm

      Thank you so much, Jo.

      Reply
  10. Lynda says

    April 21, 2018 at 1:34 am

    Glad to hear you are getting through this. I’ve been there before and even though I feel better now, I still get anxious about getting anxious. It certainly does help knowing that others have the same fears.

    Reply
    • Emily says

      June 24, 2018 at 4:30 pm

      YES to the anxious about being anxious! And if I find myself in a potentially unfun situation I get pre-emptively anxious!

      Reply
  11. Megan says

    June 14, 2018 at 1:37 am

    I love this!

    Reply
    • Emily says

      June 24, 2018 at 4:31 pm

      Thank you.

      Reply
  12. Barb says

    September 14, 2018 at 6:46 am

    It’s also what brave and fabulous look like Em xx

    Reply
    • Emily says

      December 9, 2018 at 11:06 am

      Thank you so much xx

      Reply

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Hi! I’m Emily

I parent. I write. I blog. I play with words and numbers in my head. Constantly. It's crowded in there.

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