It’s angry and frightened
And bitter and sad
It’s numbness
Wrapped in every feeling you’ve had
It’s constantly watching
And checking around you
Hoping your enemy
Doesn’t surround you
It’s planting a grin
On your public ‘brave face’
It’s faking so well
Nothing seems out of place
It’s smiling for photos
While guts churn inside
It’s facing the world
While your instincts scream HIDE
It’s making a joke
So your kids aren’t afraid
It’s hiding your tears
So their fears are allayed
It’s crying in showers
Then drying your eyes
It’s breathing in deeply
And seeking blue skies
It’s asking for help
And raising a hand
It’s taking the steps
Toward making a stand
It’s writing a blog post
For others to see
So that they can read it
And think not just me
All the love honey. It is so frustrating and scary and entirely awful.
The 0-100 anger surprises and upsets me every time. Not least because it’s my family who have to deal with it.
Thank you very much. Yes, although for me it’s more often the 0-100 fear. Doorbell ringing, certain sounds or silhouettes when I’m out and about… I hear you. x
Hugs Em
thank you for putting this into words xoxo
You’re welcome. Thanks for the hugs x
Frustration boils up at us in the strangest of ways xox
Absolutely. Thank you.
I can totally relate to this Em
I am equal parts relieved I’m not alone and sorry that you experience it too. x
It’s all of the above and it’s real.
So real. And for other people, I’m sure it’s more than the above. And for others, perhaps none of the above. So many variations.
Looks like I need to repeat my comment…of course I cannot remember it.
However, the message I wanted to send with love is that I understand how very very tough this is…but I am hopeful that as this year goes on, there can be some loosening of those very tightly-held thoughts and fears so that YOUR and the family’s life is not a victim of those who have hurt beyond measure. Sending love and hugs, Denyse xx
Thanks for coming back to comment again! Sorry about the initial issues. I am no longer wholly consumed by these thoughts. The fears will always be there to an extent, and certain ‘events’ morph them into panic, but we’re doing much better. x
Anxiety is a monster – and it takes so many forms. You’ve expressed this so well!
Thank you. Yes it does – in fact, I ummed and aahed over this post title! But this IS what anxiety looks like. It just looks like a whole lot of other things too! Thanks for the compliment x
I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time, Em.
Thank you. We’re on the up. I mean that. x
Nailed it without a doubt! Thinking of you xx #teamIBOT
Thank you so much, Jo.
Glad to hear you are getting through this. I’ve been there before and even though I feel better now, I still get anxious about getting anxious. It certainly does help knowing that others have the same fears.
YES to the anxious about being anxious! And if I find myself in a potentially unfun situation I get pre-emptively anxious!
I love this!
Thank you.
It’s also what brave and fabulous look like Em xx