emhawkerblog

The blog about reading, writing, singing, familying and verbing.

This is how we do

By 64 Comments

I haven’t done a song rewrite for a while. And every time I hear Katy Perry’s song, This is How we Do (which, thanks to my daughter’s taste in music, is more often than I really need to), I can’t help thinking about how totally not like that song my life is.

Chanel this, Chanel that? Yeah, perhaps if I had a Maserati to hop in, I could afford some Chanel too!

Buying grog with rent money? More like hoping I remember my PIN to pay for petrol at the service station.

Going to bed with a 10 and waking up with a 2? Have you met my husband? He’s always a 10! (You’re welcome, honey.)

So I made a version that is like my life. Except for the costume.

This is how we do triple

So here it is. Enjoy. At least I can guarantee you’ll laugh, one way or the other! (And you’ll find the lyrics below the clip if you want to sing along too.)

Sipping on coffee
Sun not yet up, already hear my baby
Got five hours’ sleep, new record for me
Feeling fresh as a daisy

Settling kids down all night long
Everything all blurry and hazy
Poonami this, vomit that
Hell no, both my kids, smelling lovely, baby

It’s no big deal
It’s no big deal
It’s no big deal
This is no big deal

This is how we do, yeah
Cleaning, wiping, new nappy
Yeah we do it like that
This is how we do (do do do do)
This is how we do

This is how we do, yeah
Changing linen, rub tummies
Yeah we do it like that
This is how we do (do do do do)
This is how we do

Eye bags and unwashed hair
My tribe hopping in my Toyota Kluger
Wearing Kmart chic beside the kinder mum clique
Looking more like Freddy Krueger

Now I’m getting dinner ready
Chopping veggies as small as they’ll go
Won’t eat this, won’t eat that, what’s this?
They won’t eat anything! No, no! (NO NO!)

It’s no big deal
It’s no big deal
It’s no big deal
This is no big deal

This is how we do, yeah
Peeling, chopping, sauteeing
Yeah we do it like that
This is how we do (do do do do)
This is how we do

This is how we do, yeah
Serving, pleading, cajoling
Yeah we do it like that
This is how we do (do do do do)
This is how we do

This one goes out to the parents
At school drop-off… in last night’s pyjamas
Yuh-huh, I see you

Yo, this goes out to all you folk
With a dirty nappy in the boot from last Friday
And it’s Tuesday

Yo, shout out to all you parents
Buying coffee with your kids’ piggy bank money!
RESPECT

This is how we do, yeah
Bathing, scrubbing, pyjamas
Yeah we do it like that
This is how we do (do do do do)
This is how we do

This is how we do, yeah
Reading, singing, turn lights off
Yeah we do it like that
This is how we do (do do do do)
This is how we do

This goes out to all you people
Dragging yourselves to bed at 10
And getting woken at 2
Hah, that’s me!

This is how we do, yeah
Sending kids off to the grandies
Yeah we do it like that
This is how we do

What?
Wait
No, no, no, no
Bring the kids back

 

Your turn! What ‘classic’ pop song needs rewriting to reflect the lives of parents?

Comments

  9. OMG you’re a crack up! And you can sing! I’d love to do something like this but no one would watch for more than 15 seconds because my voice is that bad.

    I love it Em! I want more!

    Reply

    • Thanks Lauren! I wouldn’t call this clip a great example of being able to sing, but I’ll take it! Must get better on the tech side of things.

      Reply

  12. I’m impressed! I really wanted to do a parody of BOP Girl for the blog but the legal side of it and fees involved getting permission from writers, management and record agencies were off putting to say the least.

    Reply

    • Thanks Raychael! Not familiar with BOP girl. And gulp! I checked up on all that, although not super in-depth I’ll admit. But being a parody, having rewritten the lyrics and clearly poking fun at the original intent of the song suggested I’d be okay.

      Reply

  21. Oh I love it. I haven’t seen one of your parodies before. You’ve got a great voice and I love the replacement lyrics.

    Fabulous! Congrats!

    Deb

    Reply

    • Thanks Deb – there hasn’t been one to see before because I’ve been too shy! Just the lyrics before. Thanks for the supportive words.

      Reply

    • Wouldn’t that be nice? Actually, given how I cringe whenever hubby plays this one back to me, probably not!

      Reply

  25. Hilarious… and sadly oh so true! How about some more Katy Perry re-lyricking…

    I got the eyes of an old lush, they’re bloodshot
    Kid wouldn’t sleep, full of snot
    Yes I am exhausted
    And you’re gonna hear me snoooore!

    Reply

  29. Oh Em this is hilarious!! Although I must admit, there is a little voice inside my head whispering “this will be your life soon!!”
    Reading posts on parenting simultaneously make me look forward to having my baby and make me want to enjoy every last second of child-free time I get!

    Reply

    • And both are true. You will wonder how you ever lived without them, and dream of once again living without them. (But pre-them, not getting rid of them. That sounded far more terrible than it was supposed to. But I’m still going to hit ‘post comment’.)

      Reply

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