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Why questions revisited

March 21, 2014 By Emily 33 Comments

I’ve written about toddler why questions before. But they deserve a rerun.

Because that’s what toddlers give them. Rerun after rerun after rerun…



Pre-parenting, you look forward to the ‘why’ phase. Other parents obviously just don’t get it. It’s not annoying; it’s adorable. It’s not frustrating; it’s a sign of curiosity. A sign of intelligence.

You look forward to the first question. You think, FANTASTIC! My child is curious! They want to learn! I’m going to be responsible for that learning! I’m a teacher! FANTASTIC!

Your child asks some questions. You answer them. You glow.

Child: Why do rainbows form in the sky?
You: (brilliant answer)
Child: Wow. You’re really clever.
Your inner monologue: Yes, I am. I am really clever. I will make a genius of you, my child.

They ask some more. It goes much the same way.

For a while.

Then it progresses. The questions keep coming. The same questions. Different questions. Sub-questions. Digressions. Completely new topics.

You think, FANTASTIC! My child is curious! They want to learn! They… wait… that’s an odd thing to be curious about. Oh well, they still want to learn… no… hang on, now that doesn’t even make sense. Do you even care about my answer? What’s that cheeky grin? And there’s that same question again! Haven’t I already answered that? And that? AND I’VE ANSWERED THIS ONE FIFTEEN TIMES… (sigh).

Your child asks the questions. You start off admirably. Then you wane. The vein in your temple throbs. You try to remain patient. You gulp down big snatches of air. You try not to throw anything.

Child: Why do rainbows form in the sky?
You: (brilliant answer)
Child: But why does light shine through raindrops?
You: (slightly less brilliant answer)
Child: And why does… ?
You: (adequate answer)
Child: And why is there… ?
You: (vaguely accurate answer)
Child: But how does that… ?
You: (wildly inaccurate answer)
Child: And why…?
You: (misguided attempt at humour and/or diversion)
Child: Yeah, but why…
You: BECAUSE. JUST BECAUSE.

Just. Because.

I get it now. ‘Just because’ is a perfectly acceptable answer to many why questions. Most why questions.

But not all of them. Not yet, anyway. Ask me again next year and see if I’ve changed my tune. Just don’t start your question with ‘why’.


Does your child ask you questions all the live-long day? (And, out of curiosity, how many syllables are there in your toddler’s WHYYYYY?)

Filed Under: Family life Tagged With: development, family, milestone, questions, toddler, why

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Comments

  1. Renee Wilson says

    March 21, 2014 at 7:33 am

    Hilarious! Yes they do. All the bleeding time. Bless them 🙂 Just because is a perfectly suitable answer.

    Reply
    • Emily says

      April 1, 2014 at 10:06 pm

      Just because. I used to be proud that I’d never said it. It’s appearing more and more now. In my defense, one of her questions tonight was ‘What’s George’s name?’ followed by ‘Why did George’s parents like the name George?’

      Reply
  2. joeh says

    March 21, 2014 at 8:43 am

    It is a three syllabic word, and no, I don’t know why.

    Funny post.
    Unless one still has toddlers, then it is not so funny.

    Reply
    • Emily says

      April 1, 2014 at 10:06 pm

      Three at a minimum! Glad it’s funny. To some…

      Reply
  3. Pinky Poinker says

    March 21, 2014 at 9:10 am

    I remember my five year old becoming very frustrated with his 3 1/2 year old brother and saying, “Why does he keeps saying WHY mum?” It was funny because he’d only just grown out of it himself.

    Reply
    • Emily says

      April 1, 2014 at 10:07 pm

      Haha, kids are so funny like that. It’s like your toddler staring in awe at another toddler having a tantrum, as if they’d never do it themselves!

      Reply
  4. Annaleis Topham says

    March 21, 2014 at 1:07 pm

    Its the sub questions and the digressions that see me gritting my teeth and sending them to ask their father.

    Reply
    • Emily says

      April 1, 2014 at 10:08 pm

      And the reappearance of said same sub questions and digressions at a later date… I know it’s a development stage, and they’re just fact checking, but still. There’s understanding something, and living it!

      Reply
  5. Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me says

    March 21, 2014 at 8:58 pm

    I hate to be a smarty pants but I actually haven’t said “just because” hardly ever. BUT that is because I usually dabble in the answer, but if I’m not 100% percent sure it’s right I tell her I will look it up on the computer! And she’s happy with that, not sure if this is a good or bad thing?

    Reply
    • Emily says

      April 1, 2014 at 10:09 pm

      Good work! I’m so glad I found Smarty Cat for the last children’s book review. The whole rain/rainbow discussion is a lot easier now!

      Reply
  6. Renee Wilson says

    March 21, 2014 at 9:16 pm

    Question for you from Miss Three. Why do the Bananas where pyjamas all day long?

    Reply
    • Emily says

      April 1, 2014 at 10:09 pm

      They’re comfortable? Haha! What did you say?

      Reply
  7. Kate says

    March 21, 2014 at 10:39 pm

    Looking forward to the why questions from my niece, she is going to be a great talker, probably wont be able to get an answer in! Love kids!

    Reply
    • Emily says

      April 1, 2014 at 10:10 pm

      I love them too. I swear! I hope that came through with the frustration.

      Reply
  8. OneSmallLife says

    March 22, 2014 at 10:24 am

    Oh yes. And if you are suffering through this phase you MUST see this Louis CK bit. It is just so good.

    *Coarse language*

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJlV49RDlLE

    Reply
    • Emily says

      April 1, 2014 at 10:10 pm

      Not appropriate to watch just now, but thanks for sharing! Will have to come back to it.

      Reply
  9. Lauren Matheson says

    March 22, 2014 at 7:02 pm

    We are not quite yet at the ‘why’ age… can’t wait 😉

    Reply
    • Emily says

      April 1, 2014 at 10:11 pm

      If you have any tips when you’ve lived through it, let the world know! We need answers!

      Reply
  10. katepickle says

    March 23, 2014 at 12:02 pm

    LOL Oh I can so relate… we are also in that three year stage of asking for the impossible… “But why don’t I have wings mum???”

    Reply
    • Emily says

      April 1, 2014 at 10:12 pm

      Hahaha! Why is chocolate so yummy? Why do I like it? Why is there sugar in it? Why can’t we put chocolate on bread? Why isn’t our car made out of chocolate?

      Reply
  11. Serenely says

    March 23, 2014 at 5:34 pm

    We go through a zillion whys every single waking minute of the day. I like the curiosity and imagination that’s growing evidently… but I know that sometimes the random “why” is starting to become a force of habit. I try to turn the question back on my 3 y.o. sometimes. I realise that sometimes his “why” is just his way of trying to make conversation.

    Reply
    • Emily says

      April 1, 2014 at 10:12 pm

      That’s true. She just wants to talk with me and knows she’ll get a response with a why question. I like it.

      Reply
  12. Sonia LifeLoveandHiccups says

    March 23, 2014 at 9:03 pm

    LMAO Oh I well versed in the “Just because” and the “hmmm why dont you ask your teacher??” xx

    Reply
    • Emily says

      April 1, 2014 at 10:13 pm

      Ooooooooh, I haven’t tried palming it off to the kindy teachers! EXCELLENT tip!

      Reply
  13. Lara at This Charming Mum says

    March 23, 2014 at 10:00 pm

    We’ve had ‘why is the sky blue’ and ‘how do fish go to sleep’ so far today. Some days ‘just because’ is the best I can muster!

    Reply
    • Emily says

      April 1, 2014 at 10:13 pm

      How do fish go to sleep? That is GORGEOUS.

      Reply
  14. Grace says

    March 26, 2014 at 3:56 pm

    LOL! The twins don’t necessarily ask “Why” but they say “What”. If I tell them something (and I know it’s a word they haven’t come across yet) they’ll ask what it means. And so it goes…I’m going for the “Just because” option next time!

    Reply
    • Emily says

      April 1, 2014 at 10:13 pm

      I hope it works!!!

      Reply
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Trackbacks

  1. You had a bad day says:
    January 18, 2015 at 9:14 pm

    […] given up the ghost Your baby’s upset and starting to cry Your toddler keeps asking “Why, why, why?” And you don’t know how you’ll carry on   You’re trying to get ready […]

    Reply
  2. Children’s book review – March says:
    February 15, 2015 at 2:27 pm

    […] together’ to form clouds).And they have helped me answer some of Ashleigh’s relentless why questions. So Smarty Cat gets a big fat tick from me!—-My Country /  Dorothea Mackellar and […]

    Reply

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Hi! I’m Emily

I parent. I write. I blog. I play with words and numbers in my head. Constantly. It's crowded in there.

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